Roger_Clemens_Yankees
When it’s all said and done, which Roger are you going to remember? The 20-strike out wide-eyed innocent, the scorned back to back Toronto Cy Young mercenary, the Suzyn Waldman is crying because he’s coming back grandstander? Maybe the Piazza looked at me funny, again, psychotic? How about the Third Ear, misremembering, wife-injecting, country-music lover?
That’s a lot of Rogers, I know, but for me, the answer is easy- this, as of today, is the Roger I will choose to remember: “Clemens signs with independent league team in Texas”(ESPN.com report).
Brace yourself, good people of Sugerland. Get ready, Skeeter fans. The fun you are about to have! 50-year-old Roger Clemens (Rojah to me; the Anti-Christ, famously, to others) has signed a minor-minor league deal with the home-town nine and “is expected to start on Saturday at home against the Bridgeport Bluefish.” Independent Atlantic League, you have never had it so good!
Roger_Clemens_Houston
There is no word from Rusty Hardin, but agent Randy Hendricks would have us believe that everyone believes Clemens can still pitch. “His fastball was clocked at 87 mph; all of his pitches were working.” Need more proof than that that this is for real? “He threw a three-inning simulated game after an extensive workout.” Well then.
Failure of all the imaginary minor-league players who weren’t actually there to touch Roger’s stuff aside, one suspects that not everyone is rooting for Roger to succeed. What, with the mix up about who was and wasn’t at the pool party, isn’t it possible that Jose Canseco, no stranger to comebacks himself, is hoping that Clemens falls flat? I suspect so, if only because a failure to launch by the Rocket would prevent Jose from having to find the resources to attempt a comeback from his comeback’s latest comeback.
And if Roger’s trip down (an allegedly drug-induced, but now acquitted) memory lane can produce moments half as wonderful as Jose’s frequent trips out of retirement’s on-deck circle, this will be the gift that keeps on giving. Who can forget these highlights from the Jose Canseco Comeback Trail?
Canseco_Yuma_Scorpions
1) As player-manager of the Independent League’s Yuma Scorpions, he once forfeited a game against the Chico Outlaws by starting a brawl.
2) Earlier this year, he hit .194 with a double and a home run in 20 games for the Worcester Tornadoes of something called the Canadian-American Association of Professional Baseball. He did this for a thousand dollars a month.
3) He once hit .385 with 4 home runs in 11 games with the Laredo Broncos of the independent United Baseball League, including one in his first plate appearance. Oddly, his two-week contract was not renewed. Could have been his 18.00 era or his 4.0 WHIP.
4) After signing with the San Diego Surf Dogs of the Golden Baseball League as a knuckle ball pitcher, he was traded after one game.
5) He was unable to fulfill his contract with the Quintana Roo Tigers of the Mexican Baseball League, because he was banned before even playing a game for refusing a drug test.
Are these the kind of treats Roger has in store for us? Only time, and the success or failure of some 19 year old Bridgeport Bluefish, can tell. But hopefully we’ll know Saturday night.
Your move, Rog.
SCOOPS PLAYER RANKINGS
1st Melky, now Bartolo. Who says The Rocket played in the “steroid era”? It hasn’t left us. Clemens better not think these developments lessen his “infraction”. He wouldn’t get my vote for HOF – or Bonds, Sosa etc. Obviously a 50 games suspension is not enough of a deterrent. How about 162 games for 1st infraction and a lifetime ban for a 2nd.
Posted by Wire Man | August 22, 2012, 4:02 pmSure that Diva Clemens can comeback ‘again’ at 50 shit I boxed at 49 and the only enhancement I had was Red Truck Beer! One of my favorite stories was about how Clemens was always getting special treatment like not carrying his own bags and Giambi said he’d be happy to carry them and I’m sure he did because those needles can be sharp.
Clemens has erectile dysfunction, hmmm sounds about right, his wife must get more $$$$$$$$$
Ok so it’s pretty ‘clear’ that I’m not a Clemens fan but he was an awesome pitcher no matter the circumstances, I am however a huge Giants fan and can’t stand Barry Bonds either but if Clemens came back to pitch just to one batter then it should be Big Head Barry and then we can all just move on because honestly who the fuck cares about those two assholes anymore, shit roger probably loved the attention he got in the trials, he’s a rich white guy and we knew he’d never go to jail.
Didn’t anybody else notice how HUGE Bartolo Colons head was the past year or two? It looked like he ate Sammy Sosa head and couldn’t quite swallow all of it.
On November 17, 2008, McCready spoke in more detail to Inside Edition about her affair with Clemens, stating that their relationship lasted for more than a decade, and that it ended when Clemens refused to leave his wife to marry McCready. However, she denied that she was fifteen years old when it began, saying that they met when she was sixteen and the affair only became sexual “several years later”.[63] In another soon-to-be-released sex tape by Vivid Entertainment she claimed that the first time she had sex with him was when she was 21. She also claimed that he often had erectile dysfunction.[64] A few days after the Daily News broke the story about the McCready relationship, they reported on another Clemens extramarital relationship, this time with Paulette Dean Daly, the now ex-wife of pro golfer John Daly. Daly declined to elaborate on the nature of her relationship with the pitcher, but did not deny that it was romantic and included financial support.[65]
Posted by The Pencil | August 24, 2012, 12:09 am